Does being alone make me weird?
This question always come up in
my mind. Does is it really make me weird? Well, to answer my own question, I
guess, it is. But, why? I admit I am not good in socializing with others. I
prefer to be alone than to be with my so-called ‘friends’. I prefer to be in my
silent room reading fiction books than to be with my loud sisters who always
talk about some random rumors that doesn’t really interest me. And I really
prefer to be alone! Jeez. Why do they care? Why do they care if I don’t talk to
people that much? Why do they bother saying I am weird? Okay, I am weird, so be
it. Why don’t they mind their own business? It’s my life and they don’t have nothing
to do with it.
(Photo link: https://goo.gl/images/nL6RMr)
Even my family thinks that I am.
Tss. They are my family and they were supposed to support me on who I am or at
least understand me.
One day my mom asked me,
“Samantha why don’t you bring your friends here? I want to meet them.”
“As if I have a friend, mom.” I
replied to her. I really don’t have. If I have, it’s an imaginary friend. “Are
you still a human? You’re weird.” See? My mom thinks that I am weird too. Does
the idea of me being an introvert and independent, doesn’t come up to their
mind? Tss.
They cannot blame me. As I said,
I’m not good in socializing. I don’t know how to gained friends. You can laugh
at me but I really don’t know how and I don’t mind it. I’m happy on who I am
now. Yeah, I do believe in the quotation ‘No man is an island’. Yes, that’s
true. Well, at least I have my family to talk. I’m not really alone.
Actually, I have friends before.
Nicole and Alexa. They were my friends. I am happy when I’m with them. My day
is incomplete when I do not see one of them. Everything is perfect when we are
together though there is no such thing as perfect. They are my strength, my
shoulder to cry on, and my family. I love my friends, I love being with them. I
couldn’t imagine my life without them.
But, challenges and trials always
come to people’s life. One day, Alexa asked us if we could go to their house.
So, we said yes. We were just neighbors. Nicole and I were actually surprise to
see that there is a small celebration in their house. As far as I know, they
celebrate an occasion in a fancy restaurant or in abroad. That’s how their
rich. Her family seldom celebrates an occasion in their house.
Out of curiosity, Nicole asked
her. “What is the occasion, Alexa? This is your first time to celebrate an
occasion here in your house. Wow.” Amazement is written on her face. Even me
was amazed.
I saw sadness in Alexa’s face.
“Why?” I asked her. I know her too well. We were friends before we met Nicole.
I know she’s sad but why? She supposed to be happy.
“Girls, we are leaving.” She
said. “My parents decided to live in Canada for good.” She added.
So, that’s the reason why she’s
sad. And I am too. My childhood friend is leaving, what a great news. Note the
sarcasm. With that day, we spend all our time being together. I will miss Alexa
but I will be happy to her. I know we will see each other again.
My life was very incomplete when
Alexa leave. Nicole and I were very sad. We couldn’t imagine spending our
elementary days without her.
As the time passed by, we reach
the 6th grade. Nicole is still my classmate and still my friend. Our
friendship is still strong even without Alexa until another one day, I heard
Nicole saying bad things about me. I don’t know the reason why. I don’t even
know why she’s mad at me and that she‘s telling bad things behind my back. I
really don’t know the reason!
I decided to confront her. I
asked her if she are willing to talk me in private and she said yes.
“Nicole why are you saying bad
things about me?” I ask calmly. I couldn’t get mad at her and I don’t want to
break our friendship, she is still my friend. She’s the only friend that I
have.
She didn’t answer me, she
remained quiet. “Nicole why? I thought we’re friends.” I asked again.
“No. You are not my friend. I
hate you, Samantha. You are such a bitch. I hate you. I don’t want you to be my
friend. Just get out of my life.” She said angrily and just like that, she
leaves me. I was left hurt. My friend leave me. Again. She’s really mad and I
still don’t know the reason. I tried to ask her many times, but she refused me.
And as we graduated in elementary, she doesn’t want to talk to me.
I decided to just let Nicole to
be away from me. I just thought that I would gain true friends again when I
enter high school. But, I think, I thought wrong. I thought having friends was
easy. It was. But having true friends was not easy. I couldn’t find a friend
that was true to me. I mean at least good to me.
Well, I can adjust myself to have
friends but I can’t change myself just for them. From that moment, I just realize,
maybe I should be by myself. So that’s the reason why I am alone all the time.
I enjoy being alone.
I am not alone all the time, I
still communicate to people. But, again, not all the time. And I still wonder why
do they call me weird? So what if I don’t have friends? Does that mean I am
weird? Well, I don’t care. I enjoy to be alone and that makes me happy.
(Photo link: https://goo.gl/images/5DzvO4)
